Pen 'n' Paper

People who forget to use these materials to write down their girlfriend's birthday and slobber all over themselves with pitiful shame...

Beatdown. :)

Haloscan Degredation

When creating a database, one normalizes the tables for efficiency and to create relationships so that references are concrete and not too error prone.

So why is it that Haloscan's comment count degrades and eventually disappears after a few posts? HOW does that even happen? I mean, I can't complain too much about a free service, but I can't understand WHY that happens. Say you have a table that tallies the number of comments as well as the text, and that's how it's retrieved from the DB. Why would the number go away, but the posts stay the same? It just doesn't make any sense.

An atomic elbow from the top rope with a database 101 book attached to the arm on Haloscan's mysterious methodology.

What makes people think I wanna see their trash on my walk! Litterbugs.

Respond to All

When you get an obviously mass email at work, addressed to 'All Employees,' that asks you to respond to the email address from whence the email came...what makes you think that you should respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES?????

And when asshats do respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES, and you get pissed about it, why would you respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES, asking them to not respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES? And why would you then respond to the response, letting ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES know not to do just that?

Fucking asshats.

Common Courtesy

For all of those that make plans and never make the phone call to break them, leaving me with missed opportunities and increasing blood flow to my clenched upper torso:

You should be picked up, defenestrated, struck by lightening as gravity draws you to the earth, knee dropped, run head first into a pay phone, and lambasted with a sock full of quarters.

Rinse. Repeat.

Shirtless wanker

You damn nasty jackass who feels the urge to take off your shirt while dancing in a club and exposing your hairy nasty self to everyone around. All the while bumping into me with your overactive sweat gland covered back. NO one wants to see your shirtless ass monkey dancing self. I will strangle you with your own shirt next time. Beatdown.

Pop Ups Meet Avast!

Oh yeah, you insidious little pop up adds. Every 30 seconds I have to click on what I am typing because you take over! Thinking you can just come into my life, and I will just pay money for WHATEVER your selling? Oh no. I am going to start a list of companies I will not shop with, and they are ALL coming from your pop up adds! Damn YOU!!!

BeatsDown

The jackass commentators on today's Syracuse/Rutgers game, who kept referring to how many "Times Out" the teams had remaining. I've been watching football and basketball my whole life, and it's ALWAYS been "Timeouts," not "Times Out." Take your grammatically corect selves and start working the spelling bees or something. Beatdown with Strunk. And then, when you finally struggle back to your feet, beatdown with White.