Beatdown!

BEATDOWN Facebook CENSORSHIP OF ACTIVISTS!!!!!!!

2009-02-08T01:57:00.000-06:00

BANNED ON FACEBOOK.
My second offense. I didnt nothing unusual. Posted one Mumia Abu-Jamal Live from Death Row Utube video.

this linksFree Mumia

That was it. Poof. Gone. The first time I cast a stone at Martin Bashir, and shady journalists who "lynch" via the media. Poof. Gone. Three dayz. This time I saved contact information. But George Orwell Look out. Its wild. Censorship on Facebook, against Obama and Vadergrrrl

Illuminati and Free Masons
My blood goes back to the Mayflower, my grandmother a proud member of DAR. Money and power on both sides. Dont ask where the dark gene came from with me. I mean its there, with my dad and my Nana. But Im the only sib with all the dark traits. The Niggah child. Anywayz, my point is I have Free Mason's and Illuminati in my blood line. My Nana's family owned a butcher shop in Stockholm for years. Like in Gangz of New York, only Stockholm.
I feel their Super-Powers.... So I dont think they are censoring me. But, Im definitely being censored. BASTARDS. ORWELLIAN PIGS!!!!!

Myspace v. Facebook
I have myspace under Vadergrrrl and miriam. Tom, the creater and geius behind Myspace is a Berkeley Alum. Gotta love my Peeps. Watch this Utube Battlestar Mario Tribute Tyrol and Mario speech So I know there is no Orwellian's running thangs on Myspace. No Berkeley alum would alow that!!! I dont know who is doing the censorship on Facebook. But its creepy.

Activism and the Revolution
"I see protest as a genuine means of encouraging someone to feel the inconsistencies, the horror of the lives we are living. Social protest is saying that we do not have to live this way. If we feel deeply, and we encourage ourselves and others to feel deeply, we will find the germ of our answers to bring about change. Because once we recognize what it is we are feeling, once we recognize we can feel deeply, love deeply, can feel joy, then we will demand that all parts of our lives produce that kind of joy. And when they do not, we will ask, "Why don't they?" And it is the asking that will lead us inevitably toward change.

So the question of social protest and art is inseparable for me. I can't say it is an either-or proposition. Art for art's sake doesn't really exist for me. What I saw was wrong, and I had to speak up. I loved poetry, and I loved words. But what was beautiful had to serve the purpose of changing my life, or I would have died. If I cannot air this pain and alter it, I will surely die of it. That's the beginning of social protest."-Quotes from Audre Lorde. Black Women Writers at Work. Ed. Claudia Tate. NY: Continuum, 1983. 100-16. From This Audre Lorde site

"liberation is not the private province of any one particular group"

"When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."
—Audre Lorde

I AM NOT AFRAID. I WILL NOT BE SILENED. YOU CAN CENSOR THE REVOLUTIONARY. BUT YOU CAN NEVER STOP THE REVOLUTION!!!

May the Force Be With You ALways.

Is this you?

2005-04-24T23:36:00.000-05:00

Please print out, circle one of the following, and place in rear window.

I am driving 5 miles under the speed limit in the left passing lane because:

A. I'm going to make a left hand turn but I'm not sure where the street I need is.

B. I need to make a left turn in 5 miles and changing lanes frightens me.

C. I'm a dumbass. Please tailgate me until I put down the cell phone and start paying attention.

Beatdown with the front bumper of my Ford Escort ZX2!!!!

Snow? More snow, part TWO

2005-03-08T18:59:00.000-06:00

Not enough that we're getting snow, but it started off as hail today. Blecch.

Stupid groundhog's shadow.

The Jackasses Next Door

2005-03-05T22:14:00.000-06:00

Blasting really bad club-thumping music. First at 8 this morning, and now at 11:15 pm. I know, it's Saturday night. But I'm sick and need to get some sleep so I can work all day tomorrow. Beatdown with that Wayans Brother who hasn't done anything since being the DJ on "In Living Color."

I can't talk right now...it's "dancing queen"!!!!

2005-02-25T11:25:00.000-06:00

Why is it that I can go almost all day in the lab and not have one conversation that lasts more than a minute, but as soon as I have my headphones on, EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK TO ME???

Fuckers. Beatdown with my pink mini ipod.

Snow? More snow?

2005-02-10T13:01:00.000-06:00

Beatdown on the New England weather for giving us glimpses of Spring then threatening us with a foot of snow.

THEN, turning it into freezing rain which melts the snow -- making glassy iced walkways that I will fall on.

Bathroom beatdown

2005-01-28T17:44:00.000-06:00

When the Force required to turn the toilet paper roll in the ladies restroom is greater than the Force required to tear off squares of cheap-ass toilet paper, so that you pull, tear, pull, tear, pull, tear, in an endless futile cycle of toilet paper shreds.

Beatdown with the broken soap dispenser.

Beatdown for All of Us

2005-01-19T18:55:00.000-06:00

WTF, peeps? I know that we have plenty to beatdown about. Hell, I could run this site myself, but that's just not much fun.

So, we all get beatdowns for not beating anything down until the 19th of the New Year.

I'm willing to forgive you in light of the holidays - I mean, even I'm not that mufh of a grinch, but c'me on, folks.

Let 'em rip!

Got Spirit?

2004-12-27T17:10:00.000-06:00

I'm not gonna dog anyone for having Christmas spirit, no. By all means, enjoy the season and let it make you as merry as you can be!

But the seasonal wreath, attached to the grill of your vehicle? 'Nuff said.

Beatdown, issued by a large group of red and green-clad elves. With boughs of holly.

CubeLand Etiquette

2004-12-15T15:32:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry, but when you clip your fingernails at your desk, I find that DISGUSTING. I can hear the clip, clip of your nail clipper. It grosses me out. That's disgusting. Why not just take your socks and shoes off and give your toenails a trim?

Ew, ew, ew. And to the coworker who carries a nail clipper on her keychain? May all your nails be ingrown.

Beatdown with a jar of nail fungus.

Beatdown in the 3rd Degree

2004-12-09T20:19:00.000-06:00

Beatdown on Inanna's vase. It's fucking up her whole plan! Everything she's tried to do about the damn bud vase hasn't worked!

So fill that fucker full with dirty kitty litter and show that bitch who's boss!

Beatdown with a handful of dirt!

Rated PG - Parental Guidance Recommended

2004-12-03T20:50:00.000-06:00

For parents who let their child(ren) indulge in social deviances including - but not limited to - picking their nose, throwing tantrums, having no manners: beatdown of major proportions.

I am required to have a license to hunt, fish, shoot a gun, and drive a car. But anyone can procreate freely. Can we at least require a signed agreement to deliver a productive member of society?

Bumper Cars

2004-12-01T22:01:00.000-06:00

You guys noticing a theme here? Here's my beatdown for today.

Two turning lanes: one left turning lane, one right turning lane.

For the guy who sat in the right turning lane waiting for a break in traffic so he could turn left: beatdown.

Bah Humbug!

2004-11-29T23:24:00.000-06:00

In the words of Scrooge

“If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."

Or at least every store manager who has been inundating me with Christmas displays since the day after Halloween!

I love the holidays, but get your fucking hand out of my wallet already!

I am not buying your shit after just spending a small fortune feeding my family the Thanksgiving meal that 'they' said we needed to show our appreciation for all the fortunate things in our lives.

To anybody trying to sell me Christmas crap before my Thanksgiving dinner has digested... beatdown with a 100 pound candy cane.

Oh yeah... and to my local pet store who has taken to putting adorable little puppies and kitties in their window (wearing obnoxiously cute winter sweaters no less!)to make kids beg Santa for an $800 dollar mutt.
Beatdown with a squeaky Christmas chew toy!

Citizen's Arrest

2004-11-29T14:58:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone! First day posting here at the Beatdown site. I will do my best to uphold the tradition of well-deserved beatdowns.

This one's for the pompous jackass who feels the need to designate himself the speed limit quality control vehicle. Don't travel in the fast lane at 54 miles an hour, when we all know that's the lane used to speed. Beatdown of the felony endangerment type.

You

2004-11-23T22:09:00.000-06:00

Yeah, you. You know who you are. Am I the only one who stays in at night and watches TV and looks for porn and blogs and looks for more porn and smokes?

This beatdown is for all a'ya'lls with more of a life than me.

The American Media

2004-11-23T16:04:00.000-06:00

Honestly, who gives a shit about Martha Stewart? Who cares what she's doing in prison, what she thinks of it, what she's thankful for this Thanksgiving. WHO FUCKING CARES? Why, oh why does the media focus so much attention on this woman when there are so many more important things going on?

My apologies to any Martha fans, but is she really headline material while she's in prison?

People who say "mother"

2004-11-15T23:56:00.000-06:00

Without saying "my" first. As in "I'm going to tell Mother you said that." or "Mother would just love that porcellain kitty!"

Beatdown with a tea cozy!

Entropy

2004-11-11T14:06:00.000-06:00

I hate cleaning. Beatdown with a mop, and the broom I ride on!

Are you happy LiAps?

Slackers!!!!

2004-11-11T10:51:00.000-06:00

All of us deserve a beatdown for not having beaten down anybody or anything in like 3 weeks.

Pen 'n' Paper

2004-10-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

People who forget to use these materials to write down their girlfriend's birthday and slobber all over themselves with pitiful shame...

Beatdown. :)

togoddamnmuchtosay

2004-10-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

People who can't make their point in 25 words or less.

Beatdown.

Haloscan Degredation

2004-10-19T17:38:00.000-05:00

When creating a database, one normalizes the tables for efficiency and to create relationships so that references are concrete and not too error prone.

So why is it that Haloscan's comment count degrades and eventually disappears after a few posts? HOW does that even happen? I mean, I can't complain too much about a free service, but I can't understand WHY that happens. Say you have a table that tallies the number of comments as well as the text, and that's how it's retrieved from the DB. Why would the number go away, but the posts stay the same? It just doesn't make any sense.

An atomic elbow from the top rope with a database 101 book attached to the arm on Haloscan's mysterious methodology.

2004-10-18T10:18:00.000-05:00

What makes people think I wanna see their trash on my walk! Litterbugs.

Respond to All

2004-10-12T22:51:00.000-05:00

When you get an obviously mass email at work, addressed to 'All Employees,' that asks you to respond to the email address from whence the email came...what makes you think that you should respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES?????

And when asshats do respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES, and you get pissed about it, why would you respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES, asking them to not respond to ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES? And why would you then respond to the response, letting ALL FUCKING EMPLOYEES know not to do just that?

Fucking asshats.

Common Courtesy

2004-10-12T18:54:00.000-05:00

For all of those that make plans and never make the phone call to break them, leaving me with missed opportunities and increasing blood flow to my clenched upper torso:

You should be picked up, defenestrated, struck by lightening as gravity draws you to the earth, knee dropped, run head first into a pay phone, and lambasted with a sock full of quarters.

Rinse. Repeat.

Shirtless wanker

2004-10-11T08:32:00.000-05:00

You damn nasty jackass who feels the urge to take off your shirt while dancing in a club and exposing your hairy nasty self to everyone around. All the while bumping into me with your overactive sweat gland covered back. NO one wants to see your shirtless ass monkey dancing self. I will strangle you with your own shirt next time. Beatdown.

Pop Ups Meet Avast!

2004-10-10T09:31:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, you insidious little pop up adds. Every 30 seconds I have to click on what I am typing because you take over! Thinking you can just come into my life, and I will just pay money for WHATEVER your selling? Oh no. I am going to start a list of companies I will not shop with, and they are ALL coming from your pop up adds! Damn YOU!!!

BeatsDown

2004-10-02T17:55:00.000-05:00

The jackass commentators on today's Syracuse/Rutgers game, who kept referring to how many "Times Out" the teams had remaining. I've been watching football and basketball my whole life, and it's ALWAYS been "Timeouts," not "Times Out." Take your grammatically corect selves and start working the spelling bees or something. Beatdown with Strunk. And then, when you finally struggle back to your feet, beatdown with White.

Tropicana

2004-09-27T14:51:00.000-05:00

Brand extensions are nothing new... some of them even make sense, like Polo Sheets, or Jim Beam BBQ sauce, and Skippy Peanut Butter bars. However, orange juice is orange juice...so why on earth would Tropicana start making apple juice? I'll tell you why, because they suck, and it has 50% less sugar, which equates to 50% less taste. Grove style beatdown with a sunshine state sunkist orange.

Yoplait

2004-09-25T01:14:00.000-05:00

I enjoy Yoplait yogurt. It is nice and smooth and has an even ditribution of fruit throughout - none of that fruit on the bottom crap. who has the time to mix their yogurt every day? and even when you do mix it, the yougurt is lumpy. bleah. but that is not my beatdown.

At least once a year, Yoplait puts pink lids on its yogurt and tells its customers that if we keep the pink yogurt caps and then mail them in, Yoplait will contribute X amount of money to breast cancer research.

What kind of crap is that???? Who is going to save old yogurt lids? Well, I know people that do, but...what a bunch of crap! You mean that i have to save old, rancid yogurt lids, and then put them in an envelope, pay shipping, and mail them back to Yoplait? A very successful company that most certainly has more money than I do?

Why don't they just say that for every yogurt cup bought they'll donate? Because they are cheap bastards who are counting on the general public to not send in the caps. Then they can look like heros (hey! we donate to breast cancer research! we're the yogurt that cares about your breasts! and we don't ask you to hand mix your yogurt!) with a minimal amount of financial imput. Again, what a load of crap.

Beatdown with 25% of my recommended calcium intake.

That Girl

2004-09-24T16:06:00.000-05:00

Atomic elbow to that female friend at the bar yesterday who said:

"Look at you, you're so well groomed, your sideburns are even, you always smell good, and you're hot. How the hell are you single?"

Gee, maybe it's because you haven't done jack shit to help me out. Don't complain to ME about ME being single, you're stealing my job. Besides, with you and all of your gold digging crowd, I just don't have the taste for that kind of cheap meat.

Beatdown with your loose... I won't go there.

Beatdown to HBO!

2004-09-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

Beatdown to HBO for getting me totally addicted to your programming, and then making me suffer and wait OVER A YEAR for a new season to begin. Grrrrr!

Another Beatdown for ending great shows like OZ and Sex in the City.

Bacon

2004-09-12T17:35:00.000-05:00

Why don't they package bacon in resealable bags? I've never cooked a whole package at once - and I have to waste a ziplock bag to put the rest in!

Beatdown with my iron skillet!

Why am I cooking bacon when I'm supposed to be watching my cholesterol?

Beatdown with an apple and a bag of pinto beans!

The beatdown

2004-09-11T07:39:00.000-05:00

Terrorism, in all it's forms.

Haloscan!#(*&^!@(#&^@!)

2004-09-09T15:07:00.000-05:00

Haloscan is in for a serious beatdown. It is unreliable, buggy and, simply put, a pain in the ass. I find myself not wanting to leave comments on blogs that use it because it's such a pain, and that's sad. CommentThis doesn't have some of the fancy bells and whistles that Haloscan does, but at least it works!

Beatdown with my keyboard!

Stoopid Boyz

2004-09-08T17:55:00.000-05:00

I hate my stoopid ex boyfriend who peppers his emails with 'we' like it's going out of style: "we'll start working on her grad school applications soon" and "we took a side trip" and "we're doing landscaping now on our house."

FUCKER!

There's obviously more to say, but that gets the point across.

Fucker.

Beatdown with the sharpened shiv end of a broken heart.

Good Old Fashioned Beatdown

2004-09-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

Men who wear capri pants. There is no excuse. And don't give me that "They're just really long shorts" defense. No they're not. If they come down below mid-calf, we all know what they are. And they're not for you.

Beatdown with the bolts of leftover fabric which should be covering your damn legs.

Battery beatdown

2004-09-04T23:13:00.000-05:00

For those times when you have the rechargeable batteries and on that ONE day when you absolutely need them, you can't find the charger anywhere. Arrgh.

Beatdown with a bunch of dead batteries. Sigh.

Birthday Beatdown!

2004-09-02T08:36:00.000-05:00

Beatdown to all those who are celebrating a birthday today, and DID NOT invite me to his private party and let me get him all drunk and take advantage....

Did you think I wouldn't come? Did you think I wouldn't dress all up in leather?

Beatdown with a carefully thought out birthday card with a picture of my boobies on it!

Toothpaste

2004-09-01T09:17:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you heard me: toothpaste. Why can't the fuckers name their flavors like normal people? No matter how fancy gum gets, they still have the common sense to name the flavor "peppermint" "spearment" and "wintergreen."

What the hell is "artic mint?" "winter cool mint?" "icy blast?" or worse, "new flavor?"

My mom sent me to the store to buy toothpaste that wasn't peppermint, as my dad is not a fan. Nowhere did I see normal flavor names. I picked up something that said "new flavor!" figuring that peppermint is usually the first flavor that comes out, sure a "new flavor!" would be something else.

Nope, guessed wrong. Sorry dad.

Fuckers.

Beatdown with 4 out of 5 dentists!!!

Stood Up

2004-08-30T19:15:00.000-05:00

I am pissier than a syrup covered cat in heat!

Why won't you just call and at least tell me what happened? I thought you were a nice guy? Can everyone be so wrong about you!

Beatdown with my wasted use of a babysitter so I can sit here waiting for you to call!

Beatdown with my embarrased rejected ass!

Beatdown with stoopid smeared mascara that I don't wear for just anybody!

Can't believe you did that!

2004-08-28T21:28:00.000-05:00

Middle of the Spiderman 2 movie, everyone is really into the excitement of Spidey getting his spideyass kicked and then we hear a cellphone go off. Minor irritation accompanied by the knowledge that the offender will be embarassed enough to shut it off.

NO.

She begins to have a conversation with the other person on the line. She goes on to say, "So, how are you?" and "Yeah, I'm watching a movie right now."

I mean, hello? Did you not hear what you just said?

Beatdown with a movie projector.

The other side...

2004-08-28T13:55:00.000-05:00

Beatdown to the peeps who call me in the middle of my movie, and wanna shoot the shit with meaningless conversation. I WILL CALL YOU BACK AFTERWARDS! Just when the two lovers get it hooked up, or the explosion happens! I don't wanna pause it.

Sorry shantastic, don't know ya, but.....

Beatdown

Beatdown to Haloscan Pimpin Friends

2004-08-26T17:38:00.000-05:00

Oh, how you liking haloscan now?

Not only can I not leave comments but it fucks up the loading of your pages too.

Cut and paste this into your template:

->>I gave the Dastard and my other friends in blogville a lot of shit for not having Haloscan because obviously Haloscan is so superior. I love Haloscan so I really need a good old beatdown with a rubber hose.<<-

Double beatdown for making me post.

HATEFUL, yet justifiable BEATDOWN

2004-08-25T16:02:00.000-05:00

email spam, junk mailer's, phone solicitor's, and all the companies that sell our private information to these fuckers...

All of them deserve a HUGE, extremely violent bloody BEATDOWN with the recycling bins that overflow daily with wasted trees/junk mail.

and to the Middle Eastern-accented man that fell for pyramid scheme's/MLM that called my UNLISTED home number yesterday, asking for PunkAssBitch, giving me my full home address & letting me know that there is a new email spam in my in-box for me...and trying to convince me that I *did* sign up for interest in his schpeel online the day before (uh, NO, I didn't) & that I shouldn't doubt their amazing automated marketing program that will earn me $3000-7000 a week (too good to be true, buttmunch)...

BEATDOWN with a baseball bat, cordless phone, computer monitor & home security system. I'll hurt him if he, or any of his cronies, ever contact me again. FUCKER.

{had to do this at my blog & here too...I'm PISSED, dammit!}

Haloscan - loser of champions

2004-08-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

Haloscan, you deserve a beatdown for being an unreliable nitwit. Beatdown with your crappy server!!

Vultures

2004-08-23T16:58:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you heard me right. Vultures deserve a beatdown.

I saw some at the zoo yesterday and they look like nasty muthafuckas.

Beatdown with your blue beak and your 9' wingspan.

Democratic Beatdown

2004-08-19T23:20:00.000-05:00

I need a vote as to whether this guy deserves a beatdown.

Red convertible corvette, Massachusetts vanity plate

What the plate said?..."JOEL"

Joel???

I can't decide if he deserves a beatdown or pity. What do you guys think?

Beatdown Is Gonna Getcha

2004-08-18T21:58:00.000-05:00

The woman in the Drs' office waiting room yesterday whose cell phone rang, bombarding the entire square block with Gloria Estefan. Beatdown with each member of the Miami Sound Machine and the bus they flipped over in.

Flunkies

2004-08-17T18:25:00.000-05:00

If your firm pays you to sit on your ass for three straight months and do nothing but study for a simple 100 question exam and you FAIL it the first time around, you get a Blue Sky Beatdown.

2004-08-17T13:27:00.000-05:00

If you perceive yourself to be a cowboy and have a snaggletoe... beatdown with a horseshoe, fucker.

The C Word

2004-08-16T23:52:00.000-05:00

My beatdown is of massive proportion. Cancer. Damn cancer. Beatdown with a double dose of radiation. Beatdown with chemo, and beatdown with an annual Walk For Cancer! I hate cancer...

For the LAST time...

2004-08-16T22:23:00.000-05:00

It's Fleece. Leese is the other blogger. I love Leese, she rocks, but she's no sheep.

Beatdown with an Asian female.

ARRRRRGH!

2004-08-16T16:26:00.000-05:00

For UPS, who is holding K's birthday gift hostage in DORAVILLE (which is IN ATLANTA! I could DRIVE there in 20 minutes!) but apparently won't deliver it until maybe...wednesday. Or after that. Maybe. If the tracking is correct.

His birthday is TOMORROW! Why oh why won't you just deliver the gift!!!

Beatdown with your ugly, slow-ass brown trucks.

Early Onset Alzheimers

2004-08-16T12:06:00.000-05:00

I had a great beatdown all composed in my head this morning as I tried to drift back into sleep. Lo and behold, my addled head couldn't hold onto it.

Beatdown on myself with a bottle of gingko biloba.

Mini-beatdown on blogger

2004-08-15T12:16:00.000-05:00

Stoopid Blogger won't let me onto my own blogs from Kate's computer. It will not let me sign off from her account, so I can't put up a new post of my own.

Grrrrr....

(This is Aimee, by the way, NOT Kate!)

Mind your own damn business!

2004-08-15T10:01:00.000-05:00

If you feel a need to start a 15 min. conversation in the parking garage while I'm getting in the car to tell me how big a piece of crap car I have, and meanwhile, you're driving a creepy 80s conversion van (AKA rape /kidnapping mobile), you need to back the hell off and let me go home. Beatdown with my dented bumper!

DVD Commercials

2004-08-13T19:59:00.000-05:00

The people who disable the menu & fast forward functions on a DVD movie, forcing me to watch their bullshit commercials before I get to the play menu. Beatdown with a copy of S.W.A.T.

Newbie Pieholes

2004-08-13T02:51:00.000-05:00

To the newest member of our staff that thinks that because she is in charge of "checking" my chart, that she can tell me how to do my job, and (her words) "ream me out," and after a shift from hell: Beat down with an degree she aint got yet! Then beat down with a nursing license she aint got yet! Then beat down with the write up she is gonna get from me. Then beat down with the chair she never gets her ass out of. But I am not holding a grudge, oh no.

My Gag Reflex

2004-08-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

What do you think?? You can never exist my whole life and then just show up one day and make me retch in the sink every morning when I brush my tongue?? It's been months - ENOUGH ALREADY. Beatdown with a tongue depressor!!

WooHoo! my first BEATDOWN!

2004-08-12T15:20:00.000-05:00

thanks for sparing me the sparring match, Celti...I have a feeling ya would've whooped my ass ROFL.

Beatdown handout today:

The uptight wenches in the office of my kid's school that very obviously panicked when I handed in my enrollment form for joining the PTA. They fucking NEED a punk rock, pierced & tattoo'd mom in their little club...a dose of reality for those snobby Soccer Mom SUV driving twits.

Beatdown with the PTA enrollment forms, along with my pierced tongue stickin' out at them, tattoo's exposed & The Exploited blasting out of my anti-Soccer Mom SUV.

Bitches.

Link Whores

2004-08-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

People who demand you link them rather than appreciating the compliment of receiving one without asking. Beatdown!

Stooopid Internet Company

2004-08-12T04:05:00.000-05:00

Beatdown with a cable line to those damn fools who think I can wait 11 more days for my internet to be hooked up! I hope they know this will go down on their permanent record!

Link it! Link it real hard!

2004-08-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

People who suck up all your adoration and attention and expect you too talk dirty to them, then refuse to link you should get a beat down with ... uh... something... uh... blunt!

Show Me The Money

2004-08-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

Anyone who holds a check that I write for them for longer than two weeks without cashing it should catch a beatdown with a big stack of deposit slips.

Where the f*ck did she go now???

2004-08-08T19:39:00.000-05:00

Now I realize being a waiter/waitress is a difficult job, so let me start this out by saying that there were only 3 or 4 other tables of people in the whole restaurant, and I think she only had one other table apart from ours.

To the waitress who made us wait a half hour for our check, gave it to us, then disappeared for another 20 minutes, so we had to find the manager to pay, just so we could get out of there: Beatdown with a side of fries! Hope you liked your "tip."

Blogger Beatdown!

2004-08-06T20:01:00.000-05:00

I know this is a free service, and perhaps I'm a selfish, ungrateful bitch for looking a gift service in the mouth...but sometimes Blogger deserves a beatdown! And I think we all know why. Like right now, when I am unable to create a new paragraph. For that, Blogger, you get a beatdown with a wireless mouse.

Dear John letters to Our Soldiers?!?!?!? WTF?!?!

2004-08-06T16:52:00.000-05:00

Women who write Dear John letters to Our soldiers in Iraq definately deserve a vadergrrrl style beatdown.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Check out Doc in the Box's last post for more information.

Paging Betty Friedan

2004-08-06T11:49:00.000-05:00

If you call me at all hours and wake me up to whine yet again that you're a loser magnet, and then get defensive and angry at me when I call them dumbasses, beatdown with a dog-eared copy of the Feminine Mystique.

Grrrrrr, Confusing Men

2004-08-06T05:44:00.000-05:00

To men who invite you someplace, pay for dinner, talk about sex for hours, then don't even try to kiss you. Was it a date? Was it not? And when did I lose it? Beatdown with a precious moments figurine!

2004-08-05T16:14:00.000-05:00

To people who join homeschooling groups, make the group all about them, their children's needs and their own agenda and then NEVER show up again. Phone calls are answered sweetly, plans are made, but nothing ever comes of any of it. I'm sick to death of you people. I have a busy life, I do not need to be picking up the shit you left behind in your wake and now you've made it impossible for me to start my own homeschooling group here in our teeny tiny town.

Beatdown with my unused school supplies.

Lunchus Payus In Errorus

2004-08-05T12:43:00.000-05:00

People who invite you to lunch but expect you to pick up the bill should be beaten with an American Express billboard.

Delays Beatdown

2004-08-05T11:05:00.000-05:00

Mangers who are annoyingly paranoid about launching my new product because he/she doesn’t think I have thought of every single last contingency and continues to insiste on delays.

Yes, I’ve got all the normal contingencies in place (technical, non-technical). No, I don’t have a contingency in place in case an 8-foot half-man half-Godzilla creature decides the product is too small for him/her to use.

You paranoid pessimistic bitch. Beatdown with my left shoe.

Drunk Grrrls!

2004-08-04T17:58:00.000-05:00

Drunk grrrls who act a fool and say (type) stupid things...... definately deserve a beatdown.

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"I may be drunk but at least I'm not insane."
"I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink."
"There ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk"
"Well, the first rule is not to try to drink with him. (When asked about what it was like to write with Keith Richards)."
"Pour me a cab, I just can't drink no more."
"The piano has been drinking, not me."
"Oh yeah, I remember my first beer." (to a waitress dropping a tray of drinks)
"the drinks are free and everything...but they hit you up at the door on the way out..."
"I thought I heard a saxophone, I'm drunk on the moon"
"I've got a bottle for a trumpet, a hatbox for a drum..."
"I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch"
"And I'm standing on the corner of Fifth and Vermouth...using parking meters as walking sticks."
-Tom Waits

Evil Science Geeks

2004-08-04T16:04:00.001-05:00

People who use words and phrases like "pipet" and "assay system" as if they are common knowledge to the non-geeks. Beatdown.

;)

geeky science beatdown

2004-08-04T12:23:00.000-05:00

Beatdowns for me and my boss, for not realizing until waaay too late that the assay system I was putting in my yeast strains WILL NOT WORK!!!!

Beatdown with a pipet!

Muh thoungue ith numb..

2004-08-04T12:09:00.000-05:00

Beatdown for the person who assigned me 60 invitations to address, thus leaving me with a blah tasting tongue from all the envelope licking.

Yuck.

War Mongrels

2004-08-03T23:07:00.000-05:00

How dare you send our loved ones in harms way. Their lives are worth more than your stinkin oil war.

for that, George W. you deserve one big ass smack down.

i hate you right now

Retail theft beatdowns

2004-08-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

People who are blatant about bringing back a silk nightgown in a beaten up gift box. With no receipt. 5 years later. With a 3-inch tear in the seam where the security tag usually is. And say that it was a gift and that she received with the rip. Best of all is how she expects to be given $68 in cash after all that.

Nuh-uh. Beatdown with a gift box.

Technical Non-support

2004-08-03T17:02:00.000-05:00

If you have a job as technical support and somebody is having a problem, then make yourself fucking useful!

If you don't know the answer, then say "I don't know the answer".
Stop shuffling me around from one technical non-support idiot to another.

Find me someone who knows what the hell they are talking about!

If you can't find anyone, at least try to charm me... tell me a fucking dirty joke, good gossip... anything... just make the hour and a half I wasted on the phone with you worth while. MORON

I Pitty the Fool!

2004-08-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

Anyone who doesnt agree with me 100% of the time....

deserves a Mr. T style BEATDOWN!

xxxooooooo

Sleepus Interruptus

2004-08-03T09:40:00.000-05:00

Anyone that drives a garbage truck through a neighborhood before 5 a.m. should be beaten with a steel garbage can lid until they puke up trash. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Reality TV Producers

2004-08-03T00:45:00.000-05:00

If I was Amish, why would I even be on TV? If you continually produce tv shows full of mindless dribble, or are entertained by the majority of the crap that's on network tv... reality beatdown.

Also you all now get a collective beatdown... consider yourself beatendown.

Paper Woes

2004-08-02T22:08:00.000-05:00

People who go into a stall and wait for the first person to walk in to ask, "Hey, buddy, can you pass some paper under to me?" HELL no, you nasty bastard. Pinch it off explain it to your wife later when she does the laundry. Beatdown with the Charmin.

Slackers

2004-08-02T21:31:00.000-05:00

People who miss work and sleep..... all day......

definately deserve a beatdown.

(or a spankin)

xxxooooooooooo

Write a Frickin post!

2004-08-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

People who complain about people not leaving comments on their site, yet haven't posted anything new for 5 days - BEATDOWN!

:)

Leave a Frickin Comment

2004-08-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

People that visit my blog but don't leave a comment deserve a beatdown with a mouse.

Sleep Guy

2004-08-02T07:02:00.000-05:00

The Sandman. That fucker rarily comes to visit, and when he does, he leaves quickly like I'm a $2 ho.

Beatdown with your empty sandbags, soaking wet and with vivacity.

Anti-Beatdown

2004-08-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

Cool people who drive by and flash 7x7 signs, in huge bold red letters, that say "HI!"

They deserve forgiveness for at least 2 earned beatdowns. Very cool.

Big Yellow Beatdown

2004-08-01T19:01:00.000-05:00

Best Buy at 23rd and 6th. For not letting me in at 6:51 tonight. Why? "We close at 7." I guarantee I could have found what I needed and been at the register in under 9 minutes. Beatdown with every DVD copy of "Just Married" left on your shelves.

Haytah's

2004-08-01T16:05:00.000-05:00

If you miss something in a conversation and apologize with " Sorry, had a blonde moment", Beatdown with a bottle of peroxide.

Traditional Sunday Morning Beatdown

2004-08-01T08:57:00.000-05:00

People who work in bagel places/delis and do not understand the meaning of "a little bit of cream cheese." It's great that you're being generous and giving, but no human being could eat that much cream cheese and live. Least of all one who's pretty sure he's lactose intolerant. Beatdown with a 5 lb. block of Philadelphia.

Retail Beatdowns from the Other Side of the Counter

2004-08-01T00:48:00.000-05:00

1. Customers who ask you a question about what they want to buy and then answer their CELL PHONE in the middle of your answer.

2. Women who come into your store and say, "I'd like to try on everything you have in size 12. I'll meet you in the dressing room."

3. People who return clothing that they have clearly worn to an event. It smells like sweat, the tag is taped to the inside of the sleeve and they are soulless asshats.

4. People who don't understand that hitting on a person who has NO OTHER CHOICE than to be nice to you is abominable. Don't you get it? You can be a complete pig, but if I'm on commission I still have to kiss your ass. And even if I'm not, I still have to be polite or risk getting fired.

You all deserve a beatdown with overpriced leather luggage and power suits still on the hanger!!

Retail Beatdowns

2004-07-31T17:39:00.000-05:00

1. People who roll their eyes when you ask them where to find something. Does your minimum wage ass have something better to do right now other than your job? Beatdown.

2. Clerks who yap their traps on the phone the entire time they are ringing up my shit, never even bothering to make eye contact with me. Beatdown.

3. Customers who insist the grapes are $1.76 per lb., not $1.79, requiring the rest of us to wait while management scurries off to check the sign and inform said customer 10 minutes later that she is wrong. Beatdown.

Thoughtless People

2004-07-31T12:35:00.000-05:00

Second-time moms who claim they don't want another baby shower because it wouldn't be appropriate, then change their minds and invite SO MANY people that they end up having TWO showers for the second kids.

Grrrr.....

(Off to host the final shower; see y'all tonight)

Mmm Hmmm

2004-07-31T00:26:00.000-05:00

Yo Mama.

And yo Mama's Mama.

And yo Mama's Mama's mama.

Lying CEOs

2004-07-30T23:10:00.000-05:00

Acquisitions which are referred to as Mergers. Big Beatdown with an 10K report, you bastards!

J5's List Number 2

2004-07-30T22:35:00.000-05:00

1) If you used to smoke, quit, and then make smoker's lives hell: beatdown.

2) If you're still taking about Seinfeld like it is the hotest thing since slice bread, bam! Actually, scratch that, if you ever did, beatdown.

3) If you get laid more than me and you brag about it constantly, beatdown.

4) If you can't laugh at yourself, beatdown.

5) If you think John Edwards made an original statement with "You cannot run, you cannot hide. We will destroy you." Beatdown.

6) Fan of Michael Moore? 5 ton beatdown.

7) If you pull out and cut me off just to drive 20 mph below the speed limit, run over, beatdown, and a round with a fungo bat.

8) Allow your 13 year old daughter to dress like a whore and wonder why grown men stare at her? Beatdown.

9) Think Rush Limbaugh and Reverend Al Sharpton are accurate truthsayers for the right and left wing respectively? Beatdown.

10) Snore so I stay awake? Beatdown.

Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.

I'll take a McHeartAttack. Biggie-sized, please

2004-07-30T22:32:00.000-05:00

People who order the #1 at MickieD's with a diet Coke. Beatdown with a clogged artery.

People who let their crusty children pick their noses in restaurants. Beatdown with a barf bag.